By Maggie Estep

So I'm walking down the street
minding my own business
when this guy starts with me
he's sucking his lips goin:
hey, baby, hey, yo yo yo, baby baby baby
and I get kinda tense and nervous
but I keep walkin'
but the guy's doggin' my every move:
hey, miss, he says, don't miss this, and he grabs his
crotch and sneers ear to ear.

So finally, I turn around:
hey, buddy, I say, i'm feeling pretty tense, buddy, i've got
a fuckin' song in my heart, so come on
let's go
i've got a huge bucket of non dairy creamer and some time to
kill, so let's do it
we'll make some foul smelling artificial milk and drink gallons
and gallons and gallons of it
get our bladders painfully full → Read more